It takes so much time to accomplish so little online. Sorry if it takes me a while to get back to anyone online. I only get on a few times a week. I will try to update stuff and it is my goal to start adding pictures since I write so much!
Days off are nice. Later today, one of the girls who has been here for a while is going to take us to Garden City (middle of Kampala I think?). There I will be able to exchange some money, buy water, get more air time for my phone, ect. The girl also has a skype date so I get to learn where the internet café in town is and have internet again today for a little bit.
So, I have made it my goal to read through the New Testament in my time here . . . but backwards because we read Revelation for cell group (kind of like small group or caregroup). Speaking of Cell Group, it was interesting listening to what a lot of the people had to say about Revelation. One of the guys from Norway had an interesting statement. He didn’t believe in an actual Hell – like with torture, fire, pain, ect. Instead, he believed that Hell was simply separation from God. He doesn’t believe that it will actually be painful because God wouldn’t do that. It was cool though cause it got us into a good conversation. If it is our souls that is in Heaven, what is torture for our souls? Our souls are meant to be with God, so being a part from God would truly be torture for our souls! AH, but the bible does say that it will be a place of gnashing of teeth and constant torment. It is also referred to as being casted into a lake of fire. It was just interesting to think about. No matter how hell looks or what happens there, it is a real place and it will be torment for the souls of people who end up there – and that is a heart breaker.
Anyways, I was going to say something about my readings. . . a couple of verses that really stuck out in my reading today were the following:
– “Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an INEXPRESSIBLE AND GLORIOUS JOY, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” – 1 Peter 1:8-9
- Just reading this made me smile. Can you imagine a joy that is inexpressible. How can God’s love for us not fill us up with such a joy.
– “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering” – 1 Peter 5:9
- Just thinking that the same things that I am struggling with here are things that I struggled with back home. Things that I have overcome here are ones that can be overcome in the states. The same things that I go through today are the same trials, sufferings, persecution that people all over the world have gone through/are going through. Although sometimes I feel slightly alone here, I know that I am not!
– “Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” – 2 Peter 1:10-11
My roommate – I had a roommate last night. I decided to name him SIDI (Sudden Insect Death Invoker). We became close friends and I have invited him to stay as long as he would like. As long as he doesn’t ever crawl on me or my bed or me while on my bed.
April 11, 2010
So Yesterday, I walked to the babies home with one of the other girls who lives in the guest house with me. It is about an 1 hour and 15 minute walk and it was really hot. It was neat though because the walk takes you down a pretty large hill, through the slums, and then through the city. We had driven through the slums many times but I had never actually gotten a chance to breathe it, smell it, hear it, feel it, experience it. I don’t even have words to explain what it was like. There are little girls (maybe three years old) who sit on the sidewalk with their hands together to form a cup. Every once in a while, their hands will come apart and their mothers will walk over and put the hands back together. It is so heart breaking to see a small child being forced to sit on the side of the road and beg for money. A kid that age should be playing and enjoying their childhood.
Close to the end of the slum, we came to a railroad track that we walked along for a while. It was a pretty busy place and I had many men say things like “I love you,” “I miss you, come back to me,” “This is our chance baby, this is our chance.” You get the point. It was slightly awkward, but we were in a group so we were relatively safe. By the time we go to the Baby Home, I was soooo sweaty. I had a sweat mark the entire area that my backpack covered. Trust me, it definitely wasn’t attractive! It is ok though, I am sure the babies didn’t mind. I was also severely sun burnt. When the malaria meds say “avoid direct sunlight,” they aren’t kidding. It made me feel quite ill and I have yet to feel better. My nose wont stop running.
Although the walk was long and hot, I would definitely do it again. I got to see more of Uganda than I would riding in a taxi and I had an amazing conversation with the girl I was walking with. If yall could keep her in your prayers, that would be fantastic. We talked a lot about my decision to come back home and how I was really struggling with it. As we talked, I was constantly reminded of my reading that I had done that morning in James. Three times I said, “God is so cool, this morning I was reading in James and it said ____________ and that totally spoke to me because______.” I know God works in mysterious ways, but I had no idea that my reading and sharing would make a difference to her. See, we are all “Christians” here but she has been struggling with having an actual relationship with God instead of a religion. After I shared the last time, she turned to me and said “thank you, It is really nice to hear that people actually do get life from the word. I think I may actually try it out sometime instead of reading my other books.” I don’t know if she actually will, but today in Hebrews I was reading that we should encourage one another and build each other up. Yea!
My baby, Steven, hardly ate today and didn’t finish his bottle . . . it made me really sad. He needs to eat so he grows up big and strong! I am trying to make him crawl . . . I put him on his belly, scooted away and said “come here Stevie!” and he just reached his arms out and cried . . . it made me sad! But he needs to do it soon!!!
I was reading through some of the things that people had said to me before leaving and it made me kind of sad. So many people used the phrase “I am so proud of you.” Would you still be proud if I came home in 4 months? Will you think of me as a failure, a wave easy tossed by the wind? Then I was reading in James and I was reminded that I am just a vapor, gone in a moment. Who am I to say that this is what I will do today, this is what I will do tomorrow. I don’t know what life holds or if I will even live to do anything I had planned. All I know is that God has given me a heart for the children here and I will do whatever I must to serve Him and fulfill that promise. After being here a little over a week, I already know that I am truly going to miss these babies when I leave and that it will be very hard to leave trusting that they are going to continue to grow up big and strong, fearing the Lord. I have also realized that I have very little knowledge in baby health and that will come in incredibly handing when working with babies. That type of education isn’t offered here and I know it is what the babies deserve. So if my coming home makes me a disappointment or a bad missionary in some people’s eyes, I don’t care. My value is found in the Lord and I know this, that “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27).
I am still seeking God in it all. He says that if you lack wisdom, you should ask for it so I am doing just that. There are many obstacles in returning but I know that it will open the doors to more funding for the orphanage, lots of pediatric training, and many opportunities to get the word out. It is crazy, I’ve only been here a little over a week and I can tell that I have changed so much. I am not sure I can wait the time I have left from school to come back . . . I’ll def. be back for summers! Goodness, I love these kids and these people!
Oh and I love the stories behind some of these babies being with Watoto. For example, Nellie was found in a pit latrine, completely abandoned by her family. Now she is so adorable! I love her to death. She does this little hand clap thing that Addison does. It is so cute! Oh and she will randomly shake her head “no” a lot. It is adorable. – oh and she had a really high fever today.