Surrender

If God were to ask you to surrender your lifelong dream, the one thing you have always been certain about, could you do it?

I asked this because I myself could not answer it. Can I honestly say that I would give up everything I had planned?

I had a conversation with God today. He asked me to surrender.

Of course I told him that I had. What hadn’t I given up? Every cent I earn? My entire life to serve Him in Africa? Relationships? Everything . . . so I thought?

How about your dreams and plans for Africa?

Aren’t those yours? Is that not Your plan? The exact thing You have been leading me to these past 14 years?  You told me to go . . .

Silence.

There comes a time when you realize that following God’s will and pursuing His purpose are not lined up in your life.

Arise, go, proclaim . . . easy enough, right?

I am not sure if anyone could really understand where I am coming from. Yes, this is a dream that God had given me ever since I was just a child and I know it is what I have been called to do. But at times I wonder if I have lost the focus and purpose of it all.

Surrendering sometimes is more than just giving something up. It is laying something down for the use of the One whom you are sacrificing it to, the one who gave you that dream.

But, knowing it is no longer MY dream is a hard thought to have.

Jesus had compassion on the people and He cried for the nations as He sacrificed Himself for us. It is this irresistible love that draws us to Him and this mercy that gives us life.

I’ve come to learn how to resist this love and forsake this mercy.

I’ve been selfish, praying for my dreams to happen, for God to provide a way for it all to come about. I’ve thought that I would rather die than not live out this dream. But I forget that when our dreams become self absorbed, we lose our passion for His purpose.

Our faith withers.

So I surrender my dreams to you, God.

My heart for Africa has not changed. My plans of being a missionary are not fading.

But God’s concerns are to be what my concerns are about.

I do not want my dreams to become an obstacle or barrier to the Gospel, but wholly focused on God’s purpose.

This then becomes my Joy.

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